


What's In A Name?

by WriteMeow2



Category: Dad's Army
Genre: Dad'sArmy, F/M, Humor, JoeWalker, MALEPREGNANCY, Mpreg, WW2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteMeow2/pseuds/WriteMeow2
Summary: One-shot. Private Walker is uncharacteristically absent from his military duties at the church hall. Leading Mainwaring to discover, he's done so with very good reason. To have his daughter. Naturally, nothing but positive and well wishes from his Platoon. That is, until the identity of his child's name is brought into light. Rated T for mpreg.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	What's In A Name?

_This is a one-shot of Walker as a new father. And how the rest of the platoon handles the news. An unforeseen twist towards the end regarding the baby's name choice. This story was actually posted last year. But soon deleted over lack of interest. I've decided to re-upload, and I'm hoping for more positive results this time around. Enjoy & thank you for reading!_

* * *

The day started as any other. Walmington-On-Sea Home Guard Captain, as well as local bank manager, George Mainwaring, breathed a heavy sigh. Watching as a certain Lance-Corporal was out of step with the rest of the platoon. Whilst everyone stood at attention, Jack Jones was at ease. This caught the attention of Mainwaring's right-hand man, Sergent, Arthur Wilson. Chief Clerk of the same bank.

"Jonesy, would you mind kindly to stand at attention with the rest of the platoon, please?"

Mainwaring couldn't help but growl under his breath. Wilson was a competent Sergent, however, his soft spoken nature oftentimes undermined the unit's image as a force to be reckoned with.

"Wilson!"

Mainwaring barked. Startling the poor, older man nearly out of his wits. The Captain then gestures for his Sergeant to get closer.

"Wilson..(he repeated. Lowering his voice, yet keeping it firm) I'll have none of this Nancy-boy business. Shout it out!"

"Jones! Fall in line!"

The simple and garrulous butcher's eyes nearly bulge from his skull as he finally is in place with everyone else. Mainwaring flashes him a small smile upon finally finding the backbone to put strength behind his words. Just as he was heading back to rejoin the Captain, Jones suddenly pipes up.

"Permission to speak, sir?!"

Again, Mainwaring finds himself sighing heavily. For what was to follow was surely another one of the Corporal's long-winded, irrelevant stories about his time in the Battle of Omdurman.

"What is it, Jones?"

His tone reflecting every ounce of tiredness and agitation his mind felt. The butcher then stood a little more proudly before proceeding.

"Well, sir. When we was in the Sudan. General Kitchener didn't mess around. Especially 'wit 'em Fuzzy Wuzzies. If any of us was outta line, boy, we'd get it right up. We didn't like that, sir. We did-"

"-Alright, I think you've made your point"

The growing agitation returning to his voice. He then takes notice of Private Joe Walker's absence. His sparse brow cocked, this wasn't like the Private to not be in attendance. "Where's Walker?" he inquired confounded, this directed to no one in particular. "Oh dear, I hope he's all right" timidly spoke the Home Guard's elderly medic, Charles Godfrey. Subsequently, Their only Scotsman, naturally, had to speak up against the black-market spiv.

"Oi, he's prob'ly out doin' one of his shady black-market dealins' "

The unit's youngest member, Private Frank Pike, wasn't one to stand by and have Walker's reputation tarnished by the curmudgeon undertaker. Especially considering he went through Walker for black-market whiskey.

"Now, Mr. Frazer, that isn't fair. Mr. Walk-"

"No talkin' in the ranks!"

Barked Mainwaring. The young man's upper lip appeared to stiffen suddenly. As if he wanted to say something further. Once again, he turns to his Sergeant for answers.

"Don't you remember, sir? Walker is expecting"

Came Wilson's almost calming-like tone. Mainwaring, once again, found his brow involuntarily raise in a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

"Expecting? Expecting what? The only thing he should be expecting is reprimand if he doesn't show up within the next five minutes"

Wilson suddenly lets out a low but hearty chuckle. Triggering a domino-like effect, causing Pike to soon join him in the amusement. However, this was anything but humorous to the pompous Captain.

"And what exactly is so funny, Sargent? I asked a very simple question"

The older man cleared his throat. Simultaneously wiping at the time-worn corner of his eye. He couldn't help but laugh a bit more audibly this time.

"I'm..Ha, I'm terribly sorry, sir. It's just that. I thought you'd remember Walker was..you know?..with-child"

Wilson had the type of refined personality. Where he would go to great lengths in not describing certain private things as they were. Whether it be sex as "an exchange of passion". Or pregnancy as "with-child". The Captain's eyes then went wide once his brain fully processed what his ears had heard. However, as swiftly as these reactions transpired. As did the subsequent look of disgust. Crunching the dates and numbers in his head as rapidly as humanly possible. Eyes darting between the row of his fingers, counting as he went along.

"Wait 'ah minute..the party! You mean to tell me that child was conceived under my own roof?!"

The party in question, was a rather shoddy attempt by Mainwaring to bring a sense of conviviality and relaxation within his platoon. As per Walker's nature, he brought a date. A girlfriend by the name of Shirley. He somehow had it in his mind, she and the Captain's timorous wife, Elizabeth, would hit it off. It was purely ludicrous. Mainwaring's seldom seen better half was descending the stairs, when the sound of the air raid siren went off. Like a frightened cat she scurried back up and locked herself in the bathroom. Before anyone knew it, Joe and Shirley were gone.

How he hadn't fully put the pieces together until now. Was not only mind-boggling, it was downright humiliating. Especially considering the obvious changes the Private's body was experiencing throughout the steady passing of the months. Recalling a particularly humorous time when the suave Cockney was standing at attention with the others. His eight month swell comically stuck out in bold contrast to everything else surrounding it.

"Umm..excuse me, Mr. Mainwaring?"

Spoke Pike rather meekly. The Captain found himself growling under his breath yet again.

"Yes..what is it, Pike?"

The young man pulled at the heavy knit of his cranberry-colored scarf nervously.

"Well sir..I was trying to say earlier. Mr. Walker's havin' his baby"

"What?!" Stupid boy. Why didn't you say something sooner?!"

Suddenly, Jones appeared irrationally alarmed.

"Joe's havin' 'ah baby? Don't Panic! Everyone, Don't Pan-"

"-Will ya shut yer trap, ya silly 'ol fool!?"

Frazer chided. Clearly at his wits end with the old butcher's incongruous outbursts.

"Will all of you shut up!? (turning exasperatedly to his Sargent)..Willson, ready the men. We'll be visiting Walker momentarily"

* * *

The Platoon was then split into pairs. Godfrey/Frazer, Pike/Jones, and finally, Mainwaring/Wilson. Walmington Memorial was a rather unassuming hospital. Moderate on the outside. Sprawling on the inside. The stark whiteness stretching for miles. The pairs sat in the waiting area. Only the Captain and Sergent remained standing. Soon, a young nurse with tight auburn ringlets, fire engine red lipstick, and a crisp white dress uniform appeared.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?"

She sweetly inquired. Mainwaring chuckled in a light, rather awkward manner. Adjusting his glasses immediately afterwards.

"Ah, yes. We're here to see Private Joe Walker, please"

The young woman proceeded in referencing the chart tucked neatly under her arm. Eyes scanning through the list of names, a clean, manicured finger along with it.

"Ah, yes. Follow me, please. Mr. Walker's in room 204"

Before they embarked. Mainwaring, once again, gave an order to Wilson. Simply to inform the others to wait until they were called. As the hospital's room capacity only allowed two visitors at a time. The halls seemed endless, passing several doors. Until finally reaching their destination within the paternity wing. Wilson turns towards the young nurse.

"Thank you ever so much for your help. And might I say, that uniform makes you look absolutely marvelous. I really do mean tha-"

"-Wilson! Leave the poor girl alone"

The pompous and nearsighted Captain, as usual, cutting his compliments off at the knees. Her cheeks flushed a light shade of red. Despite Mainwaring's trivial dictations. She was rather fond of the compliment. Thanking the older man before departing back down the hall. Mainwairing briefly shoots the Casanova clerk a vexed look. Opening the Robin egg blue door slowly, so was not to startle the new father.

Even the gruff, patronizing Captain's heart grew at the sight before him. Walker gently rocking a small, white bundle in his arms. Dark chestnut hair, still slightly damp with sweat from a taxing 5 hour labor. It was like fatherhood was so natural to him. Mainwaring smiled warmly. It was then Joe became aware of their presence.

"Oi..if it isn't 'mah two fav'rite mates"

He grinned. Despite his voice attempting to be lively. The fatigue greatly outranked it. The two men approach his bedside slowly. It was then the baby softly began to whimper. Immediately Walker's focus shifting, speaking as softly as he knew how.

"Shh..shhh, it's a'right 'er love'.

His Cockney accent even more discernible than before. With downy, dark hair and other distinct features. She was the spitting image of her father. Apart from the pale blue eyes. 7.5 lbs. and had Walker wrapped around her tiny finger. Wilson couldn't help but find himself momentarily at a loss for words. Not realizing he hadn't stopped smiling.

"Walker, just let me be the first to congratulate you on this truly blessed event. She is absolutely darling"

Perhaps, for the first time ever. Mainwaring hadn't felt the urge to intervene and order his Sergent to cease speaking. He figured there had already been enough of that to last a lifetime. The Spiv gingerly places a kiss atop his daughter's head, subsequently scrunching up her tiny face. As if in preparation to cry, this thankfully transpired fairly quickly. He chuckles deeply.

"Thank ya, Sargent Wilson. She's 'ah beaut, a'right. 'Jus like 'er mum"

Again, Mainwaring smiles warmly. But there was one thing in particular that nagged him and wouldn't let go. The name, the baby had to of had a name. Even despite her conception being rather, ahem, taboo. Mainwaring clears his throat, a bit more forceful this time around.

"Does the little one have a name?"

He finally asked. His smile returning. Joe gently stroked her cherub-like cheek. Moving slightly to adjust the arm that cradled her.

"Well, 'er mum 'n I went back 'n forth, until we compromised. I liked Grace. She fancied namin' 'er after 'erself"

The corners of Mainwaring's eyes crease as he finds himself, once again, chuckling softly.

"Oh yeah? 'an what might that be?"

The Captain inquired, curiosity and suspense gnawing at him. Walker grins, he too, finding an airy laugh or two escaping. He turns his attention towards Mainwaring. His pencil-thin dark mustache accentuated by his classic cockeyed grin.

"Elizabeth Grace"

~ END~


End file.
